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Power! More power!

How hard can it be?

Ambitious but rubbish.

The news! Now, with added Clarkson.

Some say he knows two facts about ducks, and both of them are wrong.

We’ll be back with more news and some caravans.

Speed has never killed anyone. Suddenly becoming stationary, that’s what gets you.

Some say he once threw a microwave oven at a tramp, and that long before anyone had ever heard the name Jeremy Clarkson, he was taller than a tree.

And on that bombshell...

Tonight, we look at parking, speeding, and crashing. Three subjects that couldn’t be closer if they tried.

Some say that he is a CIA experiment that went wrong, and that he only eats cheese.

One minute you're in a Uruguayan lake, the next minute you're in a hospital in Surrey.

We have some truly startling evidence that dogs can't look up.

Would you believe it, the Koreans have made their first good car.

I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

For every Welshman, sheep are the number one automotive accessory.

Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary... That's what gets you.

We don't do spoilers.

Clarkson: I like the Porsche 911. I think it's a slightly unusual car because it's like a Volkswagen Beetle that's been built by very dedicated Nazis.

Some say that his tears are adhesive, and that if he caught fire, he’d burn for a thousand days.

I don’t understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?

James: It’s a big white elephant sale, Jeremy.

Hammond: When you consider that 45,000 people a year are killed on America's roads, that's an astonishing achievement.

Ferrari is a uniquely appalling human being. A simple reminder: he was banned from driving in Italy until he was in his 60s.

Clarkson: Apparently, if you rearrange the letters in Richard Hammond, you get a ‘Rich Ad Man Id Oh’.

Clarkson: The Golf GTI is a bit like a wheelie bin. For 20 years, it’s been the industry benchmark for hot hatchbacks. And just like a wheelie bin, people haven’t stopped trying to knock it over.

Some say that if you lick him, he tastes exactly the same as a sausage roll.

In the olden days, I always got the impression that Asbo stood for Anti-Social Behaviour Order. Whereas now they’re just sort of like parking tickets, aren’t they?

Clarkson: Richard, have you ever been in a car that’s crashed?” Hammond: Yes. Clarkson: Really crashed? Hammond: Yes. Clarkson: What’s it like? Hammond: It’s quite crashy.

Clarkson: Just think, in a few months, it’ll be the Geneva Motor Show. I can’t wait. Hammond: Oh, stop it, now. You know the downside of that. Hotels. Clarkson: And the food. Olives and salad. Why? Don’t you think there will be people at the show who will arrive in Bentleys and going, “Could you knock up some bacon and eggs, please?” Hammond: Because of course in Switzerland, they eat cheese, don’t they? Clarkson: Yes, a lot of cheese. They have holes in the cheese there. What’s all that about?

Some say that on really warm days, he sheds his skin like a snake, and if you tune your radio to 88.4, you can actually hear his thoughts.

Clarkson: There are two things I hate about the Peugeot 307. It’s French… and it’s not very good.

Clarkson: That F430 is one of the great cars of the last decade. It has everything. It has sharp handling, it has killer looks, and that noise. I mean, that noise! Every time you start it, you’ve got to have a Campbell©’s Cup-A-Soup, or something like that, just to wake up your ears.

James: Now, there’s another reason why you shouldn’t wear flip-flops in a fast car, and that’s involving cocking up.

Hammond: Jaguar has just announced its fastest car ever. And I think that’s brilliant ‘cause now neds will be able to get to the tip all the quicker.

Hammond: [As the Reliant Robin] made its way down the track, it did what all Reliants do: it rolled.

Some say that he thought Star Wars was a documentary and that he once punched a horse to the ground.

Ohh, the one on the left's got a face on it!

Clarkson: You see, the British motor industry, it's at the vanguard of this sort of thing—making terrible concepts and not backing them up with any substance whatsoever.

The air conditioning in a Lambo is fantastic...positioned as it is, somewhere near Milan.

Clarkson: Making a good car is like cooking a curry: one mistake and it's all ruined.

Clarkson: So, cue one of my famous analogies. You pull Bauer gently by his boots, and the lower half of him comes free.

Some say he only has gammon for thumbs, and that if he could be bothered, he could crack the Da Vinci Code in 43 seconds.

It's like a pair of trousers!